Fate

“ Fate do your work. We human beings don’t control our own destines. What is destined to happen must happen. So let it happen”

Well one of the reasons of why I chose this quote is mainly because most of the time when something bad happens to me I get pissed and blame it on other people. But as I stop and think about it it’s no one else’s fault but mine. So usually when I’m in trouble with the law or something like that is when I choose to use a whole bunch of thinking errors. One of my favorite thinking errors to use is it was not my fault at all I lost my visit cause of him. I understand that it’s none’s fault that I’m in trouble but my own. Now that I understand that it will be a whole lot easier for me to have more close friends and to keep them close but keep my enemies closer. By the way what does it mean to keep your friends close but your enemies closer.” Well I think it means that if you have a whole lot if enemies then you want to keep them really close. Not only because you might hate them but also because who knows they could be your best friend one day. So if I were you I’d keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Because if you don’t do that then you will never know for sure if you would have been really good friends or not. So if I were you I’d think it through all the way first. Cause in my eyes all of us wish we could have everyone be friends. Cause in my eyes I think that the world would be a whole lot less corrupt if everyone were friends and if we all had each others back like they were our family. What does family really mean?-

Getting Caught

“What did you do with the $5 that I gave you for doing good in school?” My mom said.

“Huh what do you mean what did I do with the money. I spent it all on candy” I say. So now here I am sitting here in the circle. With a look of confusion on my face.

So now as I’m sitting there I tune out everything that is going on around me. But then I sit there and listen into what was being said and I hear “Well Chris tell me what did you spend all the money on? Did you spend it all on weed?” By the way he is my step brother. While I was sitting there I was feeling scared and nervous, because I didn’t want to get caught for something that I didn’t do.

I had a lot of negative thoughts running through my mind. Like “What if I get caught? What will the consequences be?” Will they be good or bad?” Then as I tune into the conversation I hear a sudden big bang. I told myself not to move but I wanted to. So finally after sitting still I decided to get up. I go to the front door and I see my uncle Mario standing there by it along with my uncle Danny.

So as I crept towards them they notice me then nothing. Next thing I notice I’m sitting there at the kitchen table and I hear “so you four going to tell us the truth or are we going to have to force it out of you?”

“No” I say. Afraid to say too much. Then I sit still just listening to them hit the table yelling at us about us buying the weed and smoking it with each other. So as that happens I just sit there. In utter silence. My heart feels like an abyss. At that moment I start to get angry at myself for doing such a thing. I mean my parents raised me better then that. I had it all a bed to sleep in, my own 360, my own TV, I had it all. But now because of this one little f*** up It’s all gone.

So after all of this has happened my mom finally comes over and asks me “Erick have you learned anything from this. I hope you did because I raised you better then that son.” Soon after that I say no and she says “fine your grounded for a few months.” At that point I’m shocked. I have learned that weed is bad for you. I also learned that my mom is kind of strict. Or can be most or all of the time. I had learned that as long as I kept doing this then I know that all of the trust that my family have for me or even in me will be gone. So now I’m just sitting on my bed telling myself that “it’s just another lesson learned.” So now have you ever been caught for smoking weed?

What did you feel like after you had been caught for smoking weed? Did you feel like crap? And if you haven’t been caught for smoking weed then what would you feel like if you did get caught for smoking weed?

Arranged Marriages

Do you think that it is ok to have arranged marriages? I think that one of the main reasons of why people do it is because they really don’t have a lot of trust foe their kids. One of the benefits would be that if you marry some one and you don’t love him or her then you will soon grow to love him or her. I also believe that there are a lot of benefits and disadvantages to go along with arranged marriages. And one of the disadvantages is that if your child doesn’t seem to love the men or women that you choose for them to marry that is their fault not yours. Because they are not taking the time to get to know him or her in the first place and so it won’t last as long. Because that trust isn’t even there at all.

I think that it’s because my opinion has to be that it is not really worth losing respect from your kids. Not I’d rather let my children go out with any man or lady they want and marry any one of them they want instead of me choosing one for them and forcing them to marry that one person. To me it really messes with them and I know that it has to be really hard because when I was at home and I was dating my parents hated all the ladies that I dated. I really know how they felt in the old days. Now let’s say that you are in a relationship with your children is great I mean way great and then all of a sudden you force them into a relationship that you want them to be in. Guess what happens next? They end up saying they hate your guts and that they wish that they weren’t ever born. How does that make you feel? I can tell you it would make me feel really crappy if that happened to me and my kids.

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What does it mean to be some one your not? Well I have been hiding my true self in the dark for so many years that I didn’t want to let it show. I still remember till this day I can still remember that day. Most of the reason I did it is because I lost my dad due to suicide in 2001 so it hurt me allot to show it. It was really hard for me to get along with anyone so I didn’t have any friends to hang out with so I turned to drugs.

I think that one of the biggest reasons of why I turned to drugs is because I didn’t want anyone to know how I really felt inside. People who do the same things that I did when I was at home now look like idiots to me. Is it really worth it? To me back then I thought it was worth it but now I look at it and I tell myself “that was so not worth doing drugs over.” Till this day it is still kind of hard for me to let the real me show not only because I keep all of my emotions held in. but because I’m afraid of what people will say about it to me.

I’m not kidding. How many of us teens are addicted to drugs? How many of us get locked up and taken out of home for them? That’s when I ask the same question is it really worth it. Because to me it was. But now look at me can you imagine me the way I am today 3 years ago. I can’t. Ever.

What does it mean to be a messed up friend?

Well have you ever had a friend that said that no matter what you did that he will always have your back. Well I have and he said over and over that he would always have my back no matter how hard the times get between us and I feel like a fool for believing he meant it and he really didn’t. I mean you know how a homie that tells you to your face that no matter what he is your true friend.

So when a fight breaks out and you are stuck in the middle of it and your homie comes along and just stands there while he watches you get jumped I mean it is pretty messed up when that happens. And you can’t see what you did for him/her to do that to you. So you sit there all alone in the dark alley of the ghetto just thinking to yourself why he /she did what they did to a good friend like you. That’s when I finally figured out that he’s not my true friend if he did what he did to me just to be a traitor and turn his back on me I mean that’s what start’s problems between two homie’s.

If your homie asks you to smoke some weed what would you say and what would you do??? I don’t even have to think about that one I will straight up tell them no because if they want me to smoke weed then they aren’t my true friends are they.